Anyone could be going through DV. Be kind and generous. This post should be read without judging gender, identity, caste, religion etc. If you are going through DV, reach out to local police, social workers, and free DV services)
- Screaming, yelling, Verbal aggression & abuse
- Throwing objects (knives, chairs, kitchen equipment, toiletries, almost anything that is approachable, easy to hold and could be thrown with force)
- Slap on the face (public or private), punches in the stomach, eye, leg punch, kicking, hair pulling, hitting, biting, burning.
- Getting hit or verbally abused if something is not up to their standards
- Pinning against the wall, hitting head against the wall
- Pushing on the bed and forcing the body
- Slapping & Threatening kids, the elderly & pets
- Independently doing all the domestic work and who earns money doesn’t give enough to keep the family nourished and healthy.
- Going out in public and they say, ‘can’t you keep quiet? Do you always have to talk like that? Are you dumb or crazy?
- Pressurized to quit the job
- Pressurized & forced to get pregnant & raise the kids
- Pressurized to marry
- Pressurized, forced & threats to change the religion
- Pressurized, forced & threats to practice the religion
- Pressurized, forced & threats to accept the gender identity
- Pressurized, forced & threats to accept the caste system
- Pressurized, forced & threatening to stay in the marriage to withhold the respect of family members, relatives and friends
- Pressurized, forced & threatening to stay in the marriage where kids are involved
- Pressurized, forced & threats to stay in marriage; otherwise, they will kill themselves
- Being dishonoured and disrespected in public, at family events and in front of kids
- Being called bad words, swore upon during an argument
- Being highly criticized and judged for anything & everything
- Engaging in extramarital affairs & tells you that you can not leave and they won’t stop
- Engaging in comparison with other partners, kids, friends
- Acts of extreme jealousy, insecurity
- Restricting to independently shop, drive, do recreational activities, meeting family & friends, doctors, community meetings
- Bringing the past, triggering & then arguments to gain control over the situation
- Never apologise for their actions & blames the causes of the failure of their relationship on the partner.
- Kept on disappearing for days and reappearing. Ghosting while in a committed relationship, marriage.
- Regular, extreme consumption of drugs and alcohol and using them as an excuse for aggression & abuse
- Pressurized, forced & threatening to intimate.
- Not allowed to sleep, eat, bath, wear good clothes, or practice personal hygiene.
- Treated as a slave
- Taken their loved one for granted: they asked for it, what they can do, because they are my husband/wife/kid/parents/friends etc., they deserve the beating
- If they are told about any worse part of the day, they will make sure to dishonour you by saying- I’m sure it was you, you must have caused it, you do it all the time etc., instead of empathizing with you.
- Assaulting, harassing, abusing & shooting at private space because of refused physical contacts
- Beating with a shoe stretcher during pregnancy
- Burning with scalding coffee & threw that on my face resulting in 3rd-degree burns
- Destroying cell phones
- Locking away when medical attention is required
- Ripping every new clothes
- Being forced to burn the valuables such as books, gifts of parents
- Being forced to drop out of school, college
- Physically aggressive after they are found with illegal drugs because they do not want to give justification; they chose violence to escape (trying to control physical pain)
- Threatening to reveal gender preference identity resulting in loss of carer etc
- Taking control over finances
- Tapping phones
- Pressurized & forced to chew sim card, ATM card, delete all social media, delete all emails
- I couldn’t communicate with anyone without getting permission from them
- Strip clothes, forced to do exercise & if not, beg for their mercy to tame
- Steals the money & gambles
- Guilt trips lead them to drink & be violent
- Thrown out of the house by in-laws
- Forced & pressurized to have physical contact with other men
- Do not have access to house keys
- Must tell them the routes, locations to do any outdoor activity
- Revoke restraining orders
- Strangling
- Due to escalation in arguments, they tend to Shoot in the face and legs. Stomach, and sometimes people die.
- Leaving sweet threatening notes, giving inappropriate, threatening gifts
- They pull, grab and tell how ugly & worthless
- Pulling the keys out of the car ignition as they drove down the highway
- Pouring coffee grinds on my head as I dress for a job interview
- Pushed downstairs
- Limited mobility, such as on a wheelchair or walker & dependent on them for personal hygiene and other work may escalate domestic violence.
- (still adding to the list)