I) I like you

2) I love you & felt alone

3) No money

4) Poor native language

5) Because of kids

6) Self-blame

7) Felt worthless & just don\’t have enough courage to leave

8) Hoping they change

9) Pressurized to sustain the respect of family members & friends & relatives

10) Maybe a GP who failed to recognize the signs of domestic violence and prescribed antidepressant

11) Maybe a local priest may suggest marriage counselling and urge them to go back to the relationship

12) Called the police but didn’t know what to say or just could not utter a word

13) Values & principles- don\’t divorce, its religiously & culturally wrong & a sin

14) Isolated, have no hope and think they cannot get out of the DV situation

15) Part of their wedding vows to not to tell anyone about what is happening between them

16) Will convince them that DV is good for them & it will discipline them

17) Close friends & family chose not to believe them

18) Promises not to act aggressively again & repetition

19) Embarrassed and ashamed to share DV they are going through – their family and friends adored their partner

20) Isolated from support system: friends, family members, community

21) They believe them with all their heart

22) Made them believe that they are the only person who loves

23) Do not believe it is domestic violence and believe that this DV behaviour is normal

24) Process of getting Intervention orders, talking to police and explaining after being in DV

25) Process & stress of changing the contact details: name, number, address, email Id, social media etc.

26) Changing or destroying the phone to avoid tracking

27) Process & stress of changing children\’s details

28) Process & stress of changing school, university, college

29) Process & stress of changing job

30) Process & stress of changing location

31) Escaping with a pet

32) Packing the necessary documents, and whatever is left is donated or binned

33) Difficulty in finding women\’s shelter for Domestic Violence, temporary accommodation (many places do not pet friendly)

34) Financial independence: never worked, illiteracy, co-dependency, unfamiliar with native language and so on

35) Facing homelessness

36) Being not accepted in society could be due to their: gender identity, caste, religion, colour etc.

37) Staying somewhere safe: physically & mentally.

38) Can not access many things in the community because the forms ask for a residential address, and the person may only have a PO box or not be in a state to provide the address due to DV.

39) Delays and poor communication with service providers about the escaping violence payment

40) Some think that staying might save their marriage instead of focusing on stopping the violence.

41) Other party is politically and financially strong and has mafia contacts

42) Immigration reasons: fear of deportation, visa cancellation

43) Due to limited mobility, such as on a wheelchair or walker & dependent on them for personal hygiene

44) Due to fear of what other people think & say

45) Fear of what kids will think and say

46) Fear for kids to lose their parents\’ love because they are good to them

47) Shared finances so that marriage, house, work, kids, pets etc. can work & it becomes difficult to leave all the resources and start the new life

48) Single parenting

49) Can not face the emotional pain & chose to self-harm & stay rather than leave

50) Fear of being charged with desertion

51) Fear of losing the joint assets

52) Domestic Violence treated as a domestic abuse

53) Getting charged in the process of defence

54) Blaming the abusive behaviour on alcohol and drugs and failing to realize the DV

55) Inconsistency of abuse: sometimes love, sometimes hate & sometimes DV

56) Getting addicted to the partner, couldn’t leave them, a feeling of- no matter how bad it is, I have to go back and fail to realize its DV & not love

57) Worried about who will cook, clean and take care of them

58) Worried about who will support the house rent, food etc. (If they are financially independent)

59) Not aware if there is help outside the four doors, such as family courts, restraining orders

60) Think it is a problem and try to solve it by themselves

61) House lease, car EMI, after pay

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