I have seen you talking-
Talking to the walls
Telling them stories
Stories of the past
But I could never hear you-
Your words were shallow.
Your lips would murmur.
Once, you told me-
They are your friends from the past & present.
And you told me that they are staying with you.
You would show me your friends-
In the corners of the house,
At the windows
Near the doors & that they are calling your name
You told me-
They wanted you to chase them.
Soon, they become your world.
You played with them.
You argued with them.
You told them NO when they tried to hit me.
And you told them YES when they wished me a birthday
You laughed with them
You ate with them
You walked with them
You sat with them
You would pick them up if they fall
You would share your medication with them
Do you remember-
Once you told me to bring dinner for 3?
Once someone told you to leave the house?
Once someone told you that, I’m not your daughter?
Once, someone told me not to enter your room,
Because they feel uneasy
Mom, did you know?
I tried finding talks when you were chatty to air
I tried to find hope when you smiled at the walls
I tried to find love, but when you looked at me lost
I tried to be your friend when you needed one
I tried to find you when you held my hand
I tried to pull you through the isolation.
I tried to pull you through the cage of hallucinations
And banish those imaginary calls
I was with you all the time!
-Anjali Sahni -copyright@CARE WITH US